Compromise

Is the key to relationships, I've heard. Says Oprah. Says the person at the dinner party.

Compromise is a funny thing. It's this great concept, but the phrase has no guidelines. What does it really mean? Or in the case of relationships, when is it not even worth pursuing?

I believe that microcompromise is a bad thing: your favorite foods, TV shows, movies, whatever, are different, so each time you find the solution that both of you can agree to... and neither of you are really excited about. Carrying on with this course of action leads to a life filled with mediocre experiences.

Macrocompromise is key. Overall, you should both feel like you're getting to do things you really want to do. Maybe you really care about the interior decor and the other one cares about eating your not-so-favorite food twice a week. If something is important to the other and not of serious consequence to you, let them have it their way. They should respond in kind.

Given two people, it's impossible to have 100% aligned wishes. The key is to get to keep doing things you each love, because that will let you not care about the things you don't. If you instead opt for never doing things you hate (at the expense of getting to do things you love), you'll fall in that rut and either never come out or explode out in some crazy way.

In the case of relationships, the key to building them is to grow together. Opting to take the safe, mediocre compromise each time has the opposite effect. See what your significant other loves about that thing you're not excited about. Maybe you'll end up liking it too. At a  minimum you'll see them through one more lens and learn something new. And you'll have grown. Together.