Oh man.
So painting is conceptually really easy:
1. Concept: Pick your color(s)
2. Stock up: Get some brushes, rollers, paint and blue tape
3. Prepare: Remove obstacles and tape
4. Act: Put paint where it needs to go
5. Cleanup: Wash things
Each of these steps is actually a little more involved. Without proper care, things go a lot less smoothly. Let's talk about each of these, in order.
Picking your colors:
This is the fun (or frustrating) part of the exercise. You get to go to paint stores or browse online, play with swatches and visualize your perfect outcome. Unfortunately for many people, visualizing how a tiny swatch will look spread over an entire wall is not as easy. Also, there isn't just "gray". Behr brand alone has elephant skin, french gray, pencil point, suede gray, porpoise, pewter, sterling, burnished metal, burnished clay, manhattan mist, .. and those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. In addition to the basic color, there are tones: blue, purple, taupe, pink, etc. When viewed by themselves, it can be hard to tell. Always compare several similar swatches side by side. You'll usually want to walk into the paint shop with a concrete idea of what you're looking for, such as "light gray with blue tone". It's even better if you can bring in samples of other pieces in the room (a fabric swatch from furniture, a piece of backsplash tile, ... ). This will help you narrow the list of options to a manageable (and affordable) number. The worst thing you can do is walk in without a clear idea in your or reference swatches in your hand: you'll be faced with an overwhelming number of options and have no way to pick between the aforementioned grays, nor the 15 other versions whose names I can't remember. An optional next step is to take the swatches home (at some stores they are free, others charge a nominal cost per swatch) and compare them to your actual environment. Lighting can make a huge difference in the appearance of a color! The swatch may look completely different under the fluorescent glow of the store lights, incandescents in your home, under natural light from outside, or even the much cooler (bluer) light of an overcast day. If possibly check your colors under both evening and daytime lighting to ensure you're getting what you think you're getting. Next you'll want to get samples of each color you are considering. Samples vary greatly in cost, for example Behr samples at Home Depot run about $3 while a Benjamin Moore sample cost us $8. See why you don't want to walk out with 15 tiny cans of paint?
Stocking up:
Painting requires a number of accessories. In addition to the obvious brushes or rollers and blue tape, you'll want a drop cloth. A universal truth of paint is that you will drip, spill or smear it on something you didn't intend. A drop cloth is a great way to mitigate most risks. You can pick one up for 15-20 bucks, and it's completely reusable. No matter what you are painting, you'll want a small brush for edges. I've had very good experiences with a 1.5 or 2" Wooster angled nylon brush, if you are also going to be brush-painting larger areas, you'll want a 3 or 4" brush with a lot more thickness (more bristles, holds more paint, covers a wider path with each stroke). Good brushes are worth their cost in avoided frustration. Cheap brushes will lose bristles into your freshly painted surface, not transfer paint smoothly, or have scraggler hairs that put tiny streaks where you don't want them. Plan to spend $10-15 per brush. 2 is enough, though brushes take a day to dry after washing and you'll need to wash them after use or before dipping them in a new color. If you are working with more than one color, plan accordingly. We've actually invested in a fleet of brushes (including about 4 small ones), which has made it really easy to try several samples quickly. For large areas you'll want a roller. Again, you'll want a good quality one, the cheap ones can leave behind fuzz or be streaky. Also, make sure to match your roller nap's thickness to the appropriate application (type of paint, smoothness of wall - their packaging will give you guidelines). We had great success in our kitchen with a Wooster bundle we got at Home Depot for $15; it included a roller handle, 2 naps, a tray, 2 disposable tray liners and a bonus 2" brush. I'm actually not sure if naps are washable, but they are cheap enough that it's probably easiest to consider them as disposables. A new one runs $4-5, and it will save you hours and hours on a full room. Scotch blue tape ($6 a roll) is the standard, however, it can bleed through where the edges aren't quite well pressed down. This does lead to some uneven paint lines, especially on textured walls where they meet ceilings (which often have a different color). We found green tape ("Frog tape") for about $12 a roll that has some gel technology that traps paint at the tape barrier and actually does lead to noticeably crisper lines. You can use a combination: green tape for the critical edges, blue tape for general coverup where edges aren't involved or are easy to clean off after (tile, glass, .. ). If there are significant areas of paint you'll be applying with a brush, you'll probably want to get a few plastic paint bowls (about a dollar each). These are much easier to hold in one hand instead of going back and forth between your surface and your gallon jug.
Prepare:
The key to good painting is preparation, they say. I say so too. Keeping in mind that paint WILL get on things you didn't intend, remove as many things that you don't want painted as possible. Remove all switch and receptable faceplates and put blue tape over the actual electric component that's left. Careful not to shock yourself! Move all furniture away from walls. Unmount the TV. Remove recessed light cans. In short, if it touches an area you are going to paint and you can take it off, do so. This lets you avoid taping and allows you to actually paint under where said object is to ensure there's no chance of the old color peeking through anywhere. You can even consider removing trim pieces if you're comfortable with that, though we left that to taping. For the remaining items, it's time to tape. Make sure they are wiped clean: tape will not stick to the dusty trim above your door or windows. Then, take your time. Align your tape carefully with the edges you want to cover. I've found that working with 3 foot sections is usually easier (longer pieces tend to get tangled and stick to themselves). Occasionally I can just keep extending from the roll, but that can be tricky. Most edges have some bumps, lumps, waves, etc, so being able to alter direction slightly every few feet is nice. Make sure your tape is pressed firmly and smoothly against the surface.
Special note: primer doesn't seem to be necessary when painting over existing paint if you buy a paint with primer built in. It seems most good paints have this feature available. If you're painting a newly built and finished wall, use primer. Kilz 2 seems to do very well.
Act:
Put down your drop cloth, pop open the paint can, pour some into your tray/bowl, and get to work! I don't know how to describe painting technique in any way superior to the internet's description, so I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader. Keep anything with paint on additional papertowels, just in case. Remember that thing about spilling? I was taping in the kitchen and heard "help help help!". Marisa was priming a wall in a closet and tilted her bowl, leaving a nice puddle of primer on our dropcloth. I went to try and clean some of it up (so she wouldn't step in it and track it all over) and ended up smearing it on my shirt and pants (neither of which I wanted to stain) without even realizing it. I'm still trying to wash it all out....
Anyways, it's easiest to not stop mid-painting. Keep your brushes/rollers wet. Once paint dries into them, they're useless and will be that much harder to wash. Remove tape while the paint is still moist; this prevents the paint drying onto the tape and coming off the wall with the tape and you'll also get a chance to wipe off any that may have creeped under the tape.
Cleanup:
I hate cleaning up, but do it as soon as you are done.
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